Hi.
IÂ’ve worried IÂ’ve had virtually every type of cancer imaginable. By far the most persistent fear, though, is testicular cancer.
It started three years ago when I found what felt like a grain of sand on the top of the testicle.
I went to the doctor about it and he couldnÂ’t feel it, putting it down to my OCD and health anxiety and told me to just forget about it.
Of course, I did not. I spent the remaining year examining my testicles Virtually every day, finding several other of these little grain-of-sand-type things on the same testicle: this time on the side, at the bottom and in a few other places. I then also discovered a deeper, pin-head sized thing deeper in.
My metric for discovering whether these were cancerous or not was to see if by Gently pinching the skin surrounding the testicle and seeing if I could feel them detach from the testicle Body and feel them between my fingers.
All the lumps I could feel and detach from the body of the testicle, so theyÂ’re extratesticular and do not a usual sign of cancer.
Sometimes I have to feel for a while before locating them as the different layers of skin move around. They’re incredibly small but I’ve been able locate all the ones I have and have drawn pictures representing them so I remember.
Apparently extratesticular things (those within the layers of skin) are rarely cancerous, and cancer usually comes from a growth within.
I was semi reassured by this but my fears persisted for another two years. Within that time IÂ’d gone through the same fear of feeling something I thought suspicious, being reassured that it was fine somehow, and then doing it all over again.
Recently my fears took a turn for the worse. IÂ’ve just started some new tablets and Momentarily it seems theyÂ’ve made my anxiety worse.
I did my monthly check A couple of days ago but started to worry about the same things IÂ’ve been worried about for the past three years all over again. Stupidly, I looked it all up on the internet.
I found that you can get these things called scrotaliths and Others called tunica cysts, but all sites said they were very rare with an incidence of 0.3 to 0.75%.
All sources seemed to cite extra testicular Growths as being 2mm or larger, but mine (both the harder calcifications and this one under the skin) are much smaller, maybe less than 1mm with some literally being the size of a grain of sand.
The fact that these things are apparently rare has really stressed me out. What are the chances IÂ’d have two different types of rare cysts? Surely it would be more likely to have cancer.
What really set me off was finding out about this rare cancer called Mesothelioma of the Tunica vagilanis. This is a cancer of the actual skin, so an extra testicular one.
Only about 300 people in the world have Been recorded to have it, but I fear a lot of signs point to me having it.
Apparently they think that it may be caused by trauma to the area; when I was trying to pinch those cysts to feel them, I often made it sore, And had been doing that chronically for three years. So maybe IÂ’ve actually caused it to occur and IÂ’m one of those rare people.
Those scrotaliths are also common in people with this cancer, adding further weight. Surely if I already have something rare associated with something else rare, itÂ’s indicative of the rare thing.
I was originally not as stressed considering IÂ’d had the lumps for three years, and they hadnÂ’t grown. But then I found someone my age (24) who had this rare cancer for three years before getting surgery. Granted, his got bigger over that period, but maybe mine had and I just havenÂ’t realised.
To top it off, through more rigorous feeling IÂ’ve located what feels like a small little pebble in my groin, and another smaller one further up. TheyÂ’re not rock hard but arenÂ’t on the other side. They feel like really tiny lymph nodes but I donÂ’t think they exist that small.
The latter could only be accessed by feeling up through the scrotum. No one else would be able to feel it but me, but itÂ’s there, and IÂ’m worried that both of these things are Signs of a metastatic spreading. IÂ’m worried itÂ’s attached to the Abdominal portion of the spermatic cord.
Apparently this cancer spreads to the lymph nodes of the groin and stomach, which is where they are.
I went to the doctors yesterday to have an examination. He couldnÂ’t feel anything untoward and saw no reason to send me for an ultrasound. He did feel one of the obvious grain of sand calcifications (thereÂ’s only really one that anyone but me would be able to feel as the rest are too small) but he thought it was just normal.
Clearly itÂ’s not normal, though, because these calcifications are rare and associated sometimes with a rare cancer.
IÂ’m out of my mind with worry about this. I canÂ’t sleep or eat and I donÂ’t know what to do. Considering all the checking and trauma To the area I must have caused, I consider myself a candidate for this rare cancer.
No one will have been checking like I was, continually feeling the tunica skin for years and sometimes inflaming it. In which case, With trauma being a probable cause of the cancer and the scrotaliths being associated, surely I have a good chance of having this. The tunica skin on the affected testicle is also more elastic than the right, so I think IÂ’ve loosened it and damaged it; apparently this cancer causes it to thicken, so maybe even the elasticity IÂ’m perceiving is actually that.
It all seems even more likely when I have those other weird things in my groin indicative of spreading.
The other type of lump, the thing that isnÂ’t the scrotaliths and is deeper, I fear is ultimately the cite of this cancer, with everything else being clear symptom of it. I must have had it for three years and by this point itÂ’s probably spread all over.
The epididymis is also often involved in the cancer, and there are some tiny calcifications there too and what feels like a hard vein, so God knows what that is.
I even had some intermittent pain in the testicle, but I think thatÂ’s most likely to do with some muscle stiffness I have as I have the pain in other areas other than just the testicle, and sometimes I get it in the right testicle which is nothing to do with this.
Then again, there could be something pressing on a nerve somewhere near related to a spreading of cancer.
I also have another pain; sometimes when I touch the testicle at the bottom, I get a niggling pain above in my abdomen. I thought that again maybe something Sinister is pressing there on a nerve causing it.
Gently squeezing the testicle brings more fear: I get the same niggling pain I often feel shooting up into my body when feeling the left (affected) one, but not the right. The one on the left may even feel firmer but itÂ’s difficult to tell, sometimes it does sometimes it doesnÂ’t.
I know I went to the doctor and he said everything felt fine, but then he would say that. ItÂ’s unlikely a GP would even have heard of this very rare cancer.
Now I donÂ’t know what to do and am alone With no one really to talk to. IÂ’m not even sure what I hope to gain in posting this, but I just had to write my story down.
Thanks for listening.
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Originally Posted by BlueIris
